so..I paid my $110 to run 13.1 miles!!!  

It'll be my 3rd race.  Not that I'm racing anyone.  I just want to finish and it would be nice to in the top half of the women in my age group. 


I've been running a year and I really enjoy it.  Some days it's harder than other days.  


I decided to register yesterday after looking at the training schedules for a 1/2 marathon. 


It's actually not too different from my recent running schedule.  The biggest difference is on the weekend long runs.  The mileage increase weekly until the race.  So, I went for it.  My actual training starts next week and lasts for 12 weeks ending on the 1/2 Marathon Race day at the Virginia Beach Rock 'n' Roll 1/2 Marathon.

Brakes...and WTF???
I'm not a car person at all....that said...

I took a short 6 hour drive up to PA to see my oldest son and daughter-in-law Mother's Day weekend.  The last hour on the way home, I heard a familiar sound.  I've had my brake pads worn before, so I know the sound metal to metal makes, but what my husband pulled away from the front passenger side brake was worst than I thought.  Notice the top right side?  The pad is completely gone and the metal is scrape up.

Here's the side view..no pad at all!!!

Now...compared to a new brake pad...

WOW!!!

I had my brakes done in CA before I drove cross country from CA 3 years ago, but were they really done?  I didn't hear a squeak or scrape...until last Sunday.

My husband is playing mechanic after his day job.  I have a very talented hubby...with very dirty hands...  Thanks Mike!

time flies...
time flies when you are having fun

time goes slow when you can't wait

my weekends come too fast for me

I think my world’s upside down!

Masking...


They should really make mud masks nicer.  Different colors would be nice.  Tonight I'm masking in Aztec mud.  It's a really great mask in a light green shade.  It would be nice if I could add a little pink to my cheek area.  Then, maybe a lip mask of a light red.  Is there such a thing as a lip mask?  I think not, especially in a light red shade.  So, here I sit, unable to talk or smile, while this mask dries.  To smile would cause the mask to stretch and crack which will pull on the fine peach fuzz, so I try not to let that happen.  When the mask is doing its job, it pulsates.  I'm not sure why it does, but it does.  This pulsating mask is reminding me of my mom.  In the last few years of her life, she would stay with me a few weeks at a time and one visit we did this mask together. It was quite funny to my mom; seeing herself without her partial false teeth (she had one of her front teeth pulled) with a green face.  She commented and laughed about how she looked like a green jack-o-lantern.  This caused the stretching and cracking of the mask. When she began to feel the pulsing, she started to giggle and I could see the exposed skin around her eyes and her neck begin to blush at the thought that come to her mind.  My mom, at 81, was thinking about orgasms.  Ok, so the mask pulsates like after an orgasm, but it's just a mask. She got me giggling too.  You could say, we both cracked up, literally.  


So, here I sit reminiscing about masking with my mom and missing spending time with her.  Wishing I would have appreciated those times and done more things together on her visits rather than letting the time pass only to have it end too quickly. She was 83, only a few months before her 84th birthday when she died.  I miss you mom and I know she knows that. She's with me all the time.  She is part of me. Part of my heart and soul, but sometimes I forget and she doesn't come to mind for days. Then I remember.  Something like doing a mask brings her back. I see her loving face and smile. She is beautiful...my mom.

Getting ready to start my work week and loving that I work from home on Mondays.  I'm sitting on my enclosed porch with a view of the lake (retainer pond...just semantics) enjoying my fresh Americano made from my Starbucks Barista.  I can't believe after all the years in business, Starbucks is not a known word to Google.  You would think it was.

Anyway...time to get to work...not 'get' really, since I'm here...so, time to work.

I'm sitting in what's called a three season enclosed porch.  To me though it's more of a 2 1/2 season porch.  During the winter, it's mostly too cold to sit out here, so that leaves the other 3 seasons, but Summer, to me is iffy too.  When the Eastern humidity rises while the temperature increases, this room is hotter than I like.  I guess it could be used as a sauna.  Something that I only just now thought of.  

Today, though, it's at the right temperature, with the enough humidity to make me think of our honeymoon in Jamaica and the mornings we shared our breakfast on the veranda.  We had an ocean view and right now, there's view of the lake, or retention pond (looks like a lake to me.  It's small, but big enough for kayaking...no, we don't own a kayak) 

When I stepped out to the porch, there were 2 ducks on the lawn. They were evenly positioned across the lawn.  It was weird. I guess they need their space?  But the fact that they were on the lawn, means Shelly will undoubtedly return into the house with a green streak across her back.  Shell is a white terrier mix and for some reason, she loves to roll in duck poop.  I'm lucky that she's small enough and good enough to stand there in the shower while I wash her.  Lately, I only need to get her  into the bathroom, point to the tub and say, "get in the tub" and she jumps in. It's a new trick, but with all these years of me bathing her, she probably would have done it sooner if only I'd asked.

I wish I could take my laptop out on the dock, but I lose connectivity half way out from the house.  I guess the wireless isn't strong enough.  I'm going to get some breakfast though and take it out there...I'm hungry...stomach is growling...time to eat.

  

As I'm typing this, I have 5 minutes to go on my timer.  I'm Demi-permanently coloring my hair.  I've tired of the gray.  I don't have a lot, but I'm almost 53 and look 40ish...sometimes younger depending on my energy level and I really really don't want to look 53....so....I'm gonna wash that grey right out of my hair...

see ya younger....

New software updates are great!  When they work that is. 


I have a Blackberry Storm 9500 (the first Storm) and yesterday, Google Maps released their mobile maps 4.0.  They added a great feature -- it's voice activated.  I can hold down the Call button and say "Las Vegas" and a map of LV is on the screen in seconds.  That said, their were missing items.  


They removed the zoom icons from the screen, these were now in a menu (not good).  They removed the My Location icon from the screen and it too was in the menu. It was also stuck in portrait with a keyboard that would not go away, and I no amount of thumb swiping would pan the map...it was stuck.  I searched Google for answers last night and tried a bunch of ideas that were put out there and nothing worked on all the issues at once, so I slept on it.  This morning, I found the answer!  The answer and a new release, as I was not the only one with these issues.  


4.0.2 Release is available, but there are things to do still after the upgrade.  


Here's what I needed to do....
Go to the Blackberry menu key, click on Options----> Advance Options-----> Applications you should see a list of installed applications. Select Google Maps then click on your BB Menu Key to display Options for that page. You Should see amongst others, Enable Compatibility, click to disable, then click back to re-enable. Pull out your battery for your BB to restart.  


(the battery pull was not in the list of stuff I did last night...along with the disable then re-enable trick)

I went on a 3 mile run in my Vibram Five Finger shoes.  My calves are right now rested on a moist heating pad.

I finally got a round to fixing my step son's computer (my old PC).  He decided to F10 into the Setup and changed the Power On password, then promptly forgot what it was. That was months ago, so I guess that was punishment enough.  He's 13.  I researched it back when it happened, but I promptly forgot to reset it until this morning.

I had to research it again.  Google is my friend.  Here's what I had to do.  Unplug all power. Remove the big CMOS battery.  Remove the PSWD jumper. Push and hold the yellow reset button.  I did the last step only cause 'it was there' but it worked.  Windows came up to the user sign on screen, so we put it back into his room and I started it up again and clicked on his sign on.  Blue screen of warnings that the integrity was breached or some such verbiage and that windows is shutting down to protect the hard drive.  He must have received a virus or something before the password issue.

Now I'm restoring to the factory restore...AGAIN!!!...will have to reinstall the wireless connection (D-Link) AGAIN!!!...will need to update all the Windows updates from 2000....AGAIN!!!

I'm a computer programmer, but just techie enough to get myself into trouble, but hopefully techie enough to get myself (and step son) out of computer trouble.

A few months back I decided to run the Self Clean on my oven.  


I'd not done a self clean in an oven in years.  We don't bake that much, but it was ready for a cleaning. 


About half-way through I decided to read the directions.  


Remove racks???  Oh no!!!  I left them in.  I stopped the self clean, but by that time it was too late.  


Result -- Ash colored rack that don't slide in and out without sticking. 


Since we don't bake that often, we had not replaced them; but every time I open up the oven and see the result of my not reading the directions (or not intuitively knowing that I should remove the racks), I feel bad that I ruined our new oven. 


I ordered new racks today and should have them next week.  I can't wait!! Guilt be-gone!!

Second run my my Vibram Five Finger shoes.  My calves were sore still from Wednesday's run, but I ran a mile and a half today.  Now they are more sore.  I'm not worried.  They'll get used to it. I'm doing short runs until my calves get acclimated to the more barefoot type running.

I got my Five Finger running shoes!...well, not really shoes.

I did a short run...at about 1.7 miles my calves started to tighten a little too much so I walked after that.  I love them!  I'm looking forward to my next run!

There was a time that I would go out to the mall and buy myself something new when I was feeling a little stressed.  I wouldn't spend a lot, but getting myself something new picked up my mood.  It was instant gratification.  Now, though, it's different.  I don't get in the car as much when I get that need to buy myself something.  Take tonight...I felt the need to treat myself to something new. So, what did I do?  I browsed to one of my favorite online shopping sites...

I ordered myself a few things, which is cool, but it's not instant.  I'll have to wait a few days for that gratification to take place.  Oh well...

so far only my toe socks have arrived.  Shoes in a few days...

I've been thinking about Vibram five fingers shoes for a while.  Then my husband found Nike Free 5.0.  A shoe that is pretty close to running barefoot but not like the Vibram.  There are conflicting views on the running in shoes that are close to barefoot, but we are going to give it a try.

We tried on a few different sizes of the Nike Free 5.0.  They run small and the women sizes are more narrow. I like a running shoe that allows my foot to spread out some. I liked the men's shoe better, but didn't purchase as I was not quite convinced that I shouldn't just go for the Vibram five fingers shoe.  My first thought was to first get  the Nike Free 5.0, then move to the Vibram.  When we got home to cruise the internet for Nike Free 5.0 in my husband's size and color, I decided to read more on the Vibram.

So, here's what we ordered for me...funny looking huh?  I can't wait to try them out!  KSO stands literally, Keep Stuff Out!  I don't like little rock and stuff in my shoes, so I opted for these.  

Here's what we ordered for my husband.  These do feel like slipper on and your foot really can feel the ground.  I could only find good reviews on these too.

So...we shall see how they both feel soon...

More on this later....

I got on a stove cleaning frenzy this morning.  Usually, every night after dinner it works this way...I do the dishwasher loading and wash the pans and my husband cleans the stove.  Last night out routine somehow changed and he loaded the dishwasher and I was not aware of the switch, so the stove was left with the splatter of gumbo until this morning.

This morning as I went to cook eggs for us, I noticed....the gumbo splats, so after breakfast I got out the Bonami and went to work. My husband came in with screwdriver in hand and removed the burners...yuk!  It was really bad under those.  Why don't these burners just lift off like on other stoves?  Anyway...stove is clean...and I feel so relieved.  I've become a little...and I mean a little OCD in my 50s...but if it means a cleaner stove, so be it....

We celebrated our 3rd year anniversary last Wednesday, April 7.  We had a wonderful evening and I decided to grow up on my profile picture and post one of the pictures of me from our wedding.

Here's to many many more happy years together!!

The Garden....and tree...


I'm growing Tomatoes and Basil in a way so that the bunnies will not devour them like last year...I'm hoping.  We also bought a fig tree last fall.  We had it in our 3 season porch though the winter and thought maybe it had died.  It didn't, it was only hibernating.  I had a fig tree up till we moved at age 12.  It was so big that my brother Gary and I used to be able to climb in it and the figs were so so sweet!  We'll plant this soon I hope.  


Look at it now!!!

I am growing the tomatoes in bag, up and away from the bunnies reach (I hope...I hope)

One of the tomato plants has a bloom

...and the basil is sprouting!

can't wait for fresh basil and tomato salad!!!  Yum!

thoughts and reality....

I'm in a Toastmasters' group at my work.  I'm the VP of PR and I'm on my 10th speech.  This speech is on Positive Thinking....turning negative self talk to positive.  So, I'm working on my speech and writing about how negative self talk can keep you from doing what you really want to do and it motivated me to go for a run.  I've been less motivated lately and reminding myself of what I do to make the run more fun got me going. So, what do I do to make my run more fun?  I use affirmations like...."I am one with the run" and "this is Fun"..."I am a runner"...and I force a smile while I'm running. Smiling is not the easiest when running... especially if nothing is making me laugh.  I also use the standard, "I can do this"...along with just knowing that I am running at 52 years old!  Ok...Ok...knowing that I have a flat tummy now that I am a runner is really quite the motivator especially when I was told that it's hard to lose weight as you age.  I say, start running.  I wasn't trying to lose weight, but I did.

So, anyway...thoughts and reality?  My thoughts that I had made my run easier today...and easier run was my reality.

Update on Amberen....

It's ok, I guess.  I am still getting hot flashes.  I still get down.  I'm 15 days away from finishing up 90 days.  I am going to finish them up, but, I don't think I'll buy another 90 days.  I really don't think that it's done much.

Update on my shoulder....

It's getting better daily.  It still hurts some, but my range of motion is much better before the pain.  I'm going to keep the exercises up on a daily basis and see if I can heal my shoulder myself without surgery. I'm going to say that since I've been exercising it, on a 1 to 10 scale...1 being no pain and 10 being really bad pain....it's about a 3.5.  :-)

Update on my running...

I started another 10 week interval running training course.  Podrunner Freeway to 10K.  I did the first run/walk this week.  It's a lot faster than I normally run, so it kicked my butt.  I'm having a hard time with motivating myself lately and I'm not sure what's up.  I know that once I get back on a schedule, I'll be fine.

Not much up to blogging...but wanted to post some updates....

till next time...

It's Easter Sunday.  HAPPY EASTER to all who celebrate.....


It's so different from years back.


Family celebrations.  Hiding colored Easter Eggs. Easter baskets for my sons.  One year I bought them each a baseball duffle bag and that was their Easter basket and I filled it with the usual goodies.  They loved the bag and the yummies that I filled it with. My sons have grown and through the years, Easter became different. In California, I would attend my Church in Simi Valley, but I haven't found what I'm looking for here in my new home. My son and his wife have invited us up to PA. His wife's family still does Easter dinner, but both Mike and I work tomorrow, so we'll stay here.  We went up to there for Easter once since I have lived here and we had to leave around 2pm on Easter Sunday. I decided that I would rather drive up and visit on different weekend. My other son is way too far away to travel for an Easter Sunday visit.


It's a beautiful day here today.  I wish I had internet outside close to the water.  I'd be out there now typing this.


I'm listening to the start of Michael Bechwith's live broadcast online now. This will be my Easter service. To reiterate....It's so different from years back.

Last night I cried. 
I cried because I live so far from my sons. I was emotionally low all day. I just did my biorhythm calculation.  Emotionally I'm at negative 97%!  Ok, well, that may be the reason.  I usually don't look at biorhythms or astrology predictions until after the bad day is over.  Not that yesterday was a bad day as bad days can go. My work flowed well, but as soon as I was on my way home, my thoughts were no longer focused on my work.  I'm a computer programmer and programming usually doesn't leave room for day to day thoughts other then "if I click this button, this will happen....now to code it."  


On my drive home the thoughts began and I knew that I needed to talk to my girlfriends. Each girlfriend I called, though, did not answer.  I only called two, though. I don't have many girlfriends and most are living in California...one in Pennsylvania...one in New York.  Yesterday, though, I called my 2 friends in California that are around my age. I needed to speak menopause...and there was no one to talk to....


MENOPAUSE! 


Menopause is playing havoc on my psyche.  My emotions are all over the place. When I came home last night, I was feeling strange. I felt loopy. I felt sad. I had a hopeless feeling, even though my life is good. I can only attribute these feelings with menopause. Menopause does not cause me to be bitchy as I had learned it would by other people that have experienced menopause in their life.  Usually the experiencer is the counterpart of the menopausal woman. They were the user of the word bitchy, rather than the menopausal woman herself.  


I am on my 3rd 7 month stretch that are absent of a menstrual cycle. I don't miss it at all. If I make it cycle free for 5 more months, then I am officially in Menopause.  Actually, if I do remain cycle free, then I am in Menopause now, but it really isn't official until it's been a year. 


The first 7 months stretch was in 2007, just around the time my new Navy husband, Mike, deployed for 6 months.  I didn't have a period all the time he was gone, then about a month after he came home, I had one. I went on birth control for a few months, then decided to go off it so that I would know if I was in menopause.  I had another couple of periods, then nothing for 7 months again.  Then, the day before my son's wedding day, I got a period. I had a another couple of cycles after that, then nothing.  So, now this, being my 3rd 7 months period-free, hopefully will remain cycle free after this 7 months.


I'm hoping that once my body knows what it's doing, my emotions will calm and I'll be back to myself.


I'm sure it's confusing for my husband. When he met me, I was carefree and light with a really high libido.  Now...I'm menopausal....need I say more?

I miss my sons a lot. At times the missing is at a higher point. Today is one of those days. 

I look at pictures that my youngest recently has posted on Facebook of he and his young son. I look at my son's face and see a maturity that is happening. Everyday that goes by, my sons are growing older and I can only witness this growth on sporadic visits or webcam. Gone are the days of casually taking each day as they come. I know I'm not the only long distant mother or father. Does everyone miss their kids like I do?  Will I ever spend a birthday or holiday with my sons again?

Does it really matter what the day is though? 

I see my sons about three times a year in person.  Webcam really does help and my younger son is good about spending the time to do it with me.  I get to see him and my grandson too.  My older son and his new wife are not as comfortable with the webcam, but they are putting in the effort and we recently had a nice webcam visit recently.
 
I love Skype...
It keeps me from being melancholy from missing my sons....

I was thinking of my mom a lot today and decided to make bread like she did.  All the while trying to channel my mom and her expertise.  I've not baked bread since 2004 and I've only made it by hand a couple of times.  The first time I did was 2004.  My husband and I were in a long distance relationship and he was coming out to visit.  He missed his flight, so the picnic was pushed out.  We had a very romantic picnic on the beach at night with candles. We had wine, cheese, fig spread...other tasty treats and my home made bread. Pretty cool first date. 


That time was the first time that I made bread after my mom passed away the year before.  She used to make it a lot.  Recently, my older son was visiting, and he was looking through a notebook of my moms and he found her bread recipe along with many other recipes and prayers....and a hand written Will.  That was my mom...she wanted to cover all the bases.  In this book was also her life insurance account number with the number to call.  About a week after she died, I dreamt of her and in the dream, she wanted me to give her this red notebook.  That morning, I found the life insurance information.  It's much more just that, though. This red notebook is a piece of my mother.  All of her favorite recipes.  All of her favorite prayers for her children and herself.  


So, I baked bread today.

Here's the first rising....

and the second...

shape, then let rise again...

Off to the oven after a light egg washing....

and....yummy....almost time to eat!

Another week done.  It went by fast as most weeks lately do. Time is flying by and I want it to slow down.

My grandson is growing so fast and my sons are growing older. I live so far from them all.  My newly married son and his wife live 6 hours North of me by car and my younger son and grandson live 6 hours West by plane. This distance saddens me at times. Tonight, how far away they are is heavy on my mind. I miss them so much.

I only see my sons about 3 times a year.  They don't call me as much as I'd like, but I call them at least 1-2 times a week (sometimes more) and we are very close, even though we are far apart right now.

On a positive note....Progress on my shoulder is, well, progressing.  Each day is better then the last. Why I didn't have the discipline to stretch and exercise daily before, I couldn't say anything but just plain laziness.  I also just wanted the shots to fix it, but they didn't.

As for my guitar and bar chords....I am happy that I'm so much stronger on my bar chords. It's amazing what practicing them will do!  I've played for many years, but if there was a bar chord in a song, I'd find away around playing the chord, or just not play that song.  Now, with a guitar teacher...or more of a coach...I have not other choice except to plow through and that's a good thing.

Well, blogging has lifted my spirits some... :-)

My Shoulder is improving!!!


I've been doing my shoulder stretches and exercises daily for about a week now.  It's actually getting better!  I didn't get another cortisone shot either...I'm relieved it's getting better. 


The reason I'm so determined is because I talked to my doctor's assistant. She explained the surgery to me when I called. Good thing I was sitting down. Good thing I had my heat flash fan. That called scared me into my plan.


Things that have improved so far...there is still some pain in doing these, but it's bearable.


1.  I can do a nice good morning stretch without doubling over.
2.  I can put my left hand behind my back. 
3.  When I do my pulley exercises, my arm is closer to being straight up.
4.  My left arm is stronger when doing my strength exercises.
5.  My range of motion is much better...not like my right shoulder, but better.
6.  The miracle ball shoulder stretch exercise.

I've decided to do the Mud run in my area in August....then, I'm seriously considering the 1/2 Marathon.

The Shamrock 8K -- My First 8K.....Check!  


Well, I did it!  My first 8K!!!  My chip time was exactly, to the second, the same as the clock time and I was not in the first group (the speedy group) when the clock started.  I know what happened though.  It was already proving to be a warm morning, so I took off my outer top and left my group in search for my husband. I figured he would be close to the Start Line to watch me begin the race. I couldn't find him, but I walked passed and to the right of the Start Line before turning around, top tied around my waist, to reposition myself with my group.  


So, here's what I believe happened.  As I passed by the Start Line in search for my husband, my chip was turned on and waiting for the clock to start. It began timing my run when the clock started, but before I even started walking to the Start Line. It took about 4 minutes after the clock started for me to cross the mats at the Start Line. When I crossed the finish, I forgot to stop my watch. I realized I'd not stopped it after getting my water and snack after the race. I stopped it at about 57 minutes.

I found that shirt when I picked up my race packet...had to have it...

With all that said, I ran the 8K in about 54 minutes and the clock time was 58.36 (as well as my in error chip time). 


I'm looking forward to my next race.  I'm planning on running the 10K Wicked in October and if I can get with a training group, I may consider running the 1/2 marathon on Labor Day.


Running clears my head and lifts my mood. It keeps my joints flexible.  My back hurts less than before and when I don't run for a week, my lower back aches. 

Second night of working my shoulder.

I was a little sore today after last night's workout, but worked it out again tonight.  It seemed a little easier tonight.

Tomorrow I'm running in my first 8K.  I'm looking forward to it. I'm checked in and went and got my packet at the Health Expo.  I bought a green running shirt too.  The shirt is funny...it says...well really it reads... "does this shirt make my butt look fast?"  It's on the front and it's on the back at about butt level. I thought it was really funny.  I hear people dress up in all types of getups, my funny T-shirt will fit right in.

Time to sleep...big day tomorrow.

Ever write an email that while you wrote it you were sad and depleted, only to read it back one more time after it's been sent to discover that it could be taken that I wrote it in anger?  I did one of those emails today. 

I wasn't angry at all, but I did need to unload the feelings that have been sucking my energy today.   

I just don't feel like running today. I'm emotionally, mentally and physically spent today. I ran 5 miles on both Sunday and Tuesday, so I'm not feeling too guilty. I'm running my first 8K on Saturday and I'll be fine for the run.

I've decided to hold off on the shoulder surgery.  After my run on Tuesday, my shoulder actually had more range of movement before the pain. I'm hoping that if I diligently do my exercises and my stretching that I'll beat it like I did the other shoulder that had the same issues. My course of action is to stretch to my pain limit and hold till I can't take it, then relax. I don't want to go past that pain limit, just up to it.  I also have "Magic Balls" that I bought at Costco a few years back. There are some shoulder stretches with those too that I'll do. I'll track my progress here.

 

Went to my shoulder doctor today.  I decided to wait a little longer before getting the surgery. I'm just very scared of the surgery. I'm going to really do my stretches and exercises on a regular basis.  I'm going to get my shoulder better. I have pretty good range of motion, so it's not frozen, but there are certain movements that radiate pain down my arm. I did some new stretching exercises last night and today and today the movements were a little easier with a slight reduction of pain.  

A weekend half over...I'm hoping for a better second half of it.

I've not been blogging...I didn't think anyone was reading, but then I received a comment because I'd not blogged. That was nice. So, I'm back.

I was in Florida for a family wedding last weekend...another reason for not blogging.  It was a nice visit with my husband's family. I jogged along side a river and was able to run 5 miles with a few 30-40 seconds of walking now and then.  I have an 8K next Saturday and now I know I'll be ok...even if I need to walk a little.  When I did the 5K, I thought that I'd walk too, but I didn't.

Menopause is still happening, but it's not that bad.  Only five more months until I reach the 1 year mark. Can't wait. I was asked if I carry 'supplies' around all the time. I don't because I'm not expecting it to happen. Maybe I should be prepared, but I don't want to jinx it. My cousin said she got to 11 months twice. I hope that doesn't happen to me. I'm ready to be done with it permanently.  Last year I went 7 months and the day my son got married, it started...full on too!  This is my 2nd or 3rd 7 months.

Spring is coming...our bird feeders are attracting pretty birds.  I wish we had picture windows to watch.

Anyway...sorry for being so disjointed...and rather boring today...

For my hair, Liquid Keratin is a good conditioner. It really didn't make my hair easier to blow out, but it has more shine. I am hoping my curls are smoother when I wear it curly.

CURLY or STRAIGHT?

The picture of me on the dock on my blog page has my hair in it's natural state of curly. I heard about this new product Liquid Keratin that smoothes out your hair. I ordered it and it arrived today. The process was easy; I did it tonight after work. I can't wash my hair for two days and after that I wash it with their special shampoo.  My hair should be smoother and easier to wear straight. The results should last for 30 days. 


My hair tends to be frizzy naturally. A few years before I met my husband, I had a coffee date with a man I met on Match.com. I was not interested in seeing him again, but I did the "call me" when he asked if he could see me again. Anyway, I never did see him again, but he kept calling me. Once he left me a message, "where's that big haired woman?" When I was a kid, I used those big hair rollers to straighten it out and I was so so happy with my blow dryer christmas gift when I was 15 years old. 


When I first started dating my husband, I usually wore it straight when I saw him. After moving to Virginia, with the hot humid summers, I began wearing it curly. It's easier and it doesn't matter if it's humid or rainy. 


I'll know in a few days how the process worked and will report the outcome.

As I type this, I've a moist heating pad on my left shoulder. I have a torn rotator cuff. I had one on my right shoulder in 2007. I got that one while changing my t-shirt while keeping my seat belt on. I wasn't driving and was not exposed in the process. Anyway, that time, I heard a pop and didn't go to the doctor until months later. I had an xray, and MRI, a cortisone shot and 12 weeks of PT and all was well. The last time that I saw my right shoulder doctor, he said, "it'll happen to your left shoulder too." Why would he say that, and why didn't he tell how to not have it happen to my left shoulder?

Last summer my left upper arm started to hurt the way my right did.  It's referred pain from the shoulder. I tried to work it out, but it got worse and I finally went to the doctor, same group, but a different doctor. I like this new doctor; so far, I've had an xray, and MRI, 12 weeks PT and 2 cortisone shots; one from the back and one from the front. After 12 weeks of PT, I decided that I can do the exercises myself.  I do work it out daily, but it's just not getting back to normal. It's painful when I reach past the hurting point. If I don't push it though, I could develop a frozen shoulder like what happened to the other shoulder before I finally went to the doctor.

My massage therapist had surgery for her shoulder, but I'm really scared of that, but I'm so tired of the pain in doing simple things like putting on a coat or reaching to push the buttons to start the drive-through car wash.  Even putting my hand in my back pocket or scratching my back causes pain. I'm tired of complaining about it too.

I know I don't have many followers, but have any of you had the surgery? What was it like? Would you recommend it?

Me?  Menopause?  Yep.  Me...Menopause.

I'm convinced that my menopause is affecting everything I do, think and say. Menopause was the reason I didn't blog this weekend...DARN you Menopause!

Since it affects just about every aspect of my life, I'm good at using it as an excuse for most stuff.

I'm over-sensitive and hypercritical...oh, yeah, more argumentative, which works out really good <sarcasm> when my husband is himself over-sensitive.  It made for a really fun <sarcasm again> weekend.  Sorry Honey!

My digestion or lack of is Menopause's fault.  I can't even savor a yummy dinner of ribs anymore. My husband and I went for ribs last night. I had a half order and didn't even finish them. About an hour after we got home I felt pretty sick. Not the food poisoning type of sick, but the over did it indigestion type of sick. My stomach is still recovering now, almost 24 hours later.  As I sit here typing it is rumbling and bubbling.  Oh well, with time I will be better and I will stay away from ribs....for a while.

My motivation to run seems affected too.  I went for a run outside rather than the treadmill yesterday. It was a beautiful day here. I was okay until my ipod ran out of juice at about the mile mark. Without my music, I started thinking too much, then I get too winded, my side hurt, hot flashes, too much thinking and no rhythm to my run. I only ran about 2 miles.

Menopause, my convenient scape goat.

Today...I blogged...but did not run.

I've been thinking about getting older lately. I'm on the other side of 50 now and that's really weird to me. I don't feel it and most times I don't feel it, other than the fact that I'm in menopause. Fifty sounds so old, but I'm not any different than I was 10 years or 20 years ago. I haven't changed the way I dress or act to anything more conservative.  Although, I don't like non-stretchy clothing. I'm thin, but like comfort. 

Anyway...thinking of my youth brings me to this photo taken at a girlfriend's bridal shower in the late seventies. I only recently saw this picture. One of my high school friend tagged me in Facebook with it a few months back. It brought back a memory from the packed away part of my brain. Not that I purposely packed memories away, it just happens. The more I looked at the picture, the more the fog dissipated and I remembered.

...then I remembered those glasses. I bought them across the street from Marenello's School of Beauty where I was training to be a hair dresser in 1976. There was an optician office across the street and I sort of had a crush on the optician, so I had to buy some glasses and then I had to continue to go in to have them adjusted...again and again...  They had a rhinestone flower in the lower corner of the left lens too. Hey, don't laugh, they were very stylish back then.  Notice the Dorothy Hamill haircut? I was my brother's model for a haircutting class. He was a hairdresser at a very high end salon in California's San Fernando Valley; Jon Peters Salon. Said owner of said salon is now a movie director and the name changed to Alan Edwards.  Anyway...this was me at 18....with  my 70's amber glasses with the little rhinestone flower and my Dorothy Hamill haircut.  One thing I don't remember is that blouse. What was I thinking???

Tonight was my guitar lesson.  I've been playing guitar since I was 14, so that means that I've been playing for about 38 years.  I play alright though. I've learned songs through the years that I enjoy singing.  Sometimes I put the guitar down and didn't pick it up for a year or two.  Then I'd cut my nails and play again. If the song had bar chords in it, I'd make an attempt at learning it and then move on. I enjoyed learning and playing a few of Jewel's songs.  "You were meant for me," "Little Sister," "Don't," among others.  I put up a wall, though, and was good at keeping out any songs with those dreaded bar chords.

My first guitar was a classical nylon stringed guitar with a 3 inch wide fret.  My first bar chord attempts were on that monster and I failed hopelessly. In my thirties I bought myself a divorce present; a new guitar. It wasn't expensive, about $150, but the fret was only 2 inches wide, which made it perfect for bar chords, but my wall was up and refused to come down. In my 40s, I was given a new expensive guitar. I had the fret adjusted after being told that the strings were too far from the fret, causing bar chords to be difficult.  Ah, so that was my problem!!! That was about 8 years ago. Did I master those bar chords?  No, I continued to shy away from them.

In January, I started lessons again. My teacher calls himself my coach. I'm starting now to do bar chords. I'm not comfortable with them yet, but they're coming along.

I'm jealous of my husband, though. He's a natural. I gave him Guitar lessons for Christmas. He's only been playing since January and he's already plucking away by ear. This is bothering me...not that he's getting so good, but that at the rate he's going, he'll surpass me in ability.  I'm proud of him though and it will only make me work harder to break through my wall and defeat those bar chords.  Tonight, he's discovering Angie.

I love the view from the dock during a sunset....

 

the water is calm...

I hear the distant voices of the geese...

I toss the bread crumbs

the geese come closer

a little turtle swims closer...its little head pops up looking for the bread

so peaceful sitting on the dock...

Just some tidbits from my mind...
I've completed the first 4 ifit treadmill workouts.

I just got a new haircut today...I like it...a little bang and I had her blow it out.

 

My husband has 'stolen' my guitar...I must get it back...guess he needs a better guitar than my old one...

Time to play...

Valentine's Day is highly overrated.  My friend is sad because his girlfriend of 3 years needs a break and he's alone on Valentine's Day. I missed his call and his message on my voicemail was tear-filled. I immediately called him back to find he was okay...he cried it out and seemed better. Tears are good therapy, in my opinion. I use that therapy when needed. I don't know what will become of his relationship. Only time will tell.  Now he has a headache. Could it dehydration from the tears maybe? Good therapy:  a good cry with a tall glass of water and a good friend's ear.

Valentine's Day is a day that retail stores push the public to spend money on their mates.  Whether it's candy, jewelry, sexy underwear or whatever they want to sell, they can spin it to be a must buy for your mate Valentine's Day gift. We start this craziness in Elementary School. Starting in kindergarden we pass out our valentine cards to all of our classmates. In Junior High (or middle school as it's now called), we had valentine grams and oh the feeling you got when you didn't get many, or any valentine cards.

What I can't believe is the push today to spend money on Valentine's Day.  Are we not in a recession?  Are there not many people out of work? It's ridiculous the guilt trip that is put on people on this, the day of love.

So, I'm a little bitter.

I have made a couple of goals...fitness goals.  One is to run the Shamrock 8K on March 20 of this year and the other is to get my shoulder back to 100%.  My steps to obtain these goal will be running on the treadmill 4-5 times a week.  I'm using ifit.  I'm on the 3rd workout. It kick my ass every time and I was running outside 3-4 miles before the cold set in. The ifit sets the speed and incline. She had me at 5.9 mph with an 6.0 incline.  It was only for a minute at a time, but that was really enough. I know that I will get stronger with each workout. If I'm home when it's light and warmer (50 is nice), I'll get outside for a run.

I took 2 rounds of physical therapy and 2 cortisone shots for my shoulder and the next step is surgery...that I do not want. I am going to do my exercises if not daily, then every other day. Today, it actually feels better, so I know my plan of attack will work to keep me from surgery.

These are not New Year's resolutions, just two things that I have to do....

I can't believe what I just read on my NY cousin's FaceBook!!  I'm mad and sad that she posted it and that one of her comments was from a friend of mine. My friend said she laughed at the punch line that basically wished death on someone. It was my cousin's post and it was a political post of course. This time it wasn't about the tea party or her love of Sarah...or Newt, it was a prayer to God about all of her favorite people passing away recently. Now, she's not an Obama fan, so the punch line was telling God that Obama was one of her favorite people...wanting God to take him too!  It really saddens me that so many people wish him harm. It is shameful.  

Ok...just blog...

I'm wearing my hippie shirt today, I love casual Fridays at work.
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today, comfort at it's best.
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today, I wore tie dye in the 70s too
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today, my husbands Christmas gift
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today with jeans that fit me great
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today.  It's patch-worked and colorful
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today. I rock!

More snow today. It looked like a blizzard outside my office. It was blowing sideways. It was cool. It didn't last that long and by the time I left work at 5pm, it was mostly melted.

I didn't get to my iFit workout.  I didn't sleep well last night.  At 3am I took a Sleep M.D....then I slept. After work I had a massage, so I'm spent.  I don't think I'll blog much tonight.

So, I was thinking about the latest Toyota recalls. Back in 1988 or 1989, my ex and I owned a rust colored 1980 (give or take a year) VW Vanagon. It was air cooled and we had to constantly put oil in it when it started clanking. One day, I was driving on the Ventura Fwy in the San Fernando Valley with my two young sons. We were in the fast lane going about 65 mph. All of a sudden the gas peddle dropped from my foot to the floor increasing my speed at an alarming rate. I was scared, but I kept my cool. All that I could think to do was to reach my left foot under the peddle to pull it up to slow my speed. Then I was able to reach down with my hand and located the rod that rests up against the back of the foot peddle and set it back in place. I did this while keeping my eyes on the road. I wonder if VW ever had a recall on that vehicle. We were very lucky, but I really didn't think too much about it..until these recent recalls and publicized deaths caused by the Toyota gas peddle problem.

Maybe the Toyota gas peddle can't be pulled up once it drops to the floor. It makes me wonder if anyone tried that.

Time for sleep...think I'll take a sleep aid...maybe a Tylenol PM...

I am fatherless. My father left my mom, brothers and I when I was two years old.  I could count the times that I saw him.  I only stayed with him for the weekend once when I was 12.  It was only a couple months before he died of cancer. They found cancer throughout his body when they did exploratory surgery, so just closed him up and he never woke up. I was 12 and lost a dad that had just began to be a father and not just an acquaintance. 

What is is like to have a father? One time when I was around 10 years old, a couple of girlfriends and I went to another friend's house. We walked into her house and what I saw was a little girl alone with a strange man. The thoughts were fear for my friend being alone with this man. It was her father and I was so unaware of what that was about.

I can't miss what I didn't have, but I as I get older, I do. I see dads on TV and wonder what it feels like to have a dad. I watch shows like Castle and wished I had a dad like that. They have such a great relationship.

My dad was an alcoholic when we was married to my mom. I remember he came back once when I was around 7 or 8 years old. He stayed the weekend and when my mom refused to refinance the house to give him money, he left. My mom shared that with me years and years later.  She was always good about not saying negative things about him. She always told me to call him.  I remember the few times we went to pick up the child support check ($25 for each child) at his upholstery shop that he owned. I remember the tacks in my shoes and the fabric covered buttons I made with the button maker.  Sadly, I only remember only four times being with my dad without my mom there.  I was really young in my first memory. I was standing on his shoes...step touch...step touch. He was teaching me to dance. I remember the lady that was with him.  She wore a full 50's style skirt. That skirt ended up being his second wife. Another time I was in my dad's truck...my brother was there too.  We were driving and there was a Santa waving at us from the street corner. It was Christmas time.  He once took us to see a movie at the Reseda drive-in. We saw King of Kings...and finally, there was the first time I'd stayed the weekend with him.  He was married to his 4th wife, Norma. She had two daughters. It was a nice weekend. It was a turning point in our relationship...but then he died.

Maybe I need to create my own father...create him as I want him...maybe he'll be like Castle....

Well, iFit really does kick your butt as I've read in many blogs. And I was concerned that I downloaded too easy of an iFit.  This iFit took me up to 5.6 mph and up to 6.0 of an incline.  Luckily, though, I wasn't at 6.0 incline running 5.6 mph! Here's my cool new Treadmill....and Shelly. 

I'm hoping this 8 week iFit will help me get to my 8K goal.  I am 52...I am 34 in my mind...that is a good thing.

Yesterday, we acquired a new addition to our household.  A treadmill.  I've wanted one for a while, but would vacillate back and forth, convincing myself over and over again that I can just go to the gym and run or that I can withstand running in 26 degrees. I am a fairly new consistent runner now, but, actually, I jog. I still consider myself a runner, though.

So, we bought a Nordic Track 1/2 price with all the bells and whistles.  It even has the iFit card slot.  Now I need to decide whether I get the Jillian Michaels' iFit card and get my butt kicked or buy a less butt kicking card. I'm planning on venturing out today to buy one. We had about an inch of snow yesterday, but the roads should be fine. It was so cool being able to run inside while the snow was falling.  What a hassle it was getting it in the door though.  My husband and our next door neighbor brought it in, but what a struggle. It looks a lot bigger in a 10x10 room.

My goal is to be ready for the Shamrock 8K on March 20.  I have 6 weeks, so I'll be fine.  I ran 5K yesterday on the treadmill.  I'm hoping to still find nice weekend days that I can run outside though.

The really good thing about running is that right now I'm wearing a workout set that was a little snug when I bought it in 2001. It's loose and really comfy and to think I almost Goodwilled it!  I guess you say that I'm skinny again.  I'm not really eating any differently, but I usually eat healthy and not too many desserts.  I attribute the weight loss to running.  Right now though, I need lunch.  My tummy is growling.

ok...treadmill is in our spare room.  Now there is no more excuses.  I will run in the Shamrock 8K!!!

So, why do I get so excited about buying something?  I think it stems back to a time when I lived paycheck to paycheck and could not buy much for myself. A time when I was a single parent of two boys and only getting $488 a month child support. Each month I'd have to call the bank to see if there were enough funds to cash it. I started this after having bounced checks because his check that I'd deposited bounced. I learn quick. There's a phone number to call to check your balance. You use your SSN...well his SSN.  I only did it to check funds though. Anyway, that's the reason for my excitement in buying something for myself.  When we bought my MAC Book, I was so excited too.  So, today we are going to look at Treadmills.  I started running last June and during the Winter, I find it very hard to get my run in. I've not run in over a week now.  It's raining...it's cold...it's dark...are my excuses. We have access to a gym, but that's a hassle too.  If we had a treadmill, I'd be able to run whenever I want.  Hey, yet another thing to track here!!

So, maybe I have a little ADHD since I float from one thing to another never quite sticking to one thing.  Is that why I multitask so well?  I have two screens at my work and sometimes I'll have a database query running in one, while working on a C# application in the other. Yes...I'm a computer programmer.  There are things that I have stuck to in my life though.  I've played guitar since I was 14...although I've have been known to put it down for a year at a time.  I'm currently in a playing stage and even have a guitar coach, as he calls himself.  I'm taking lessons from a local celebrity, Lewis McGehee.  My husband is a newbe player and will start with Lewis next month after he finishes his Christmas gift of lessons at a local music store.

So...time to go and buy that treadmill....

Today was long.  I don't like not being busy at work. The quiet before the storm? It usually happens that way. All at once I'll have five projects at once. I'm good at multitasking though.

An actual storm is coming here though.  Last weekend we had a rare 18 inches of snow. My first really snow storm since moving here in 2007. I really enjoyed it, but would have enjoyed it more if I didn't have a migraine. I was so stubborn in that I would not take any pain relievers.  I was in the process of doing a Gallbladder Cleanse (too much info...I know...but isn't that was blogs are for??) and didn't think medicine would be good during a fast. As the migraine set in at full force, I googled the cleanse on my Blackberry hoping for an out. I'd googled it before, but this time a site I'd not seen before came up. It was a site that exposes quacky stuff and they were claiming that the Gallbladder Cleanse was a crock of shit...pun intended if you know what I mean. What they wrote made a lot of sense, and that was my cue to end the fast after already drinking 3 doses of an epson salts and water. I had some apple and peanut butter and migraine pain reliever. I put an ice pack on my forehead and went to bed.  Ok...so what does my migraine have to do with the snow?  It's not much fun playing in the snow with a migraine, so this time I can enjoy it more.

It's been a while since I posted, but no one is reading anyway.  I have no followers.  Maybe someday.  So, to pick up from where I left off...I'm still taking Amberan and since my last writing, which was day two and zero hot flashes, the hot flashes did come back.  They started to decrease and I'm happy to say that I did not run my fan at my desk at all today.  I'd been running it at least 3-4 times a day to cool me off from hot flashes.  I am sleeping better and I my mood is better.  So, I've decided not to return the other two packages.  I'll take them for the complete 90 days.  

I was going to go on an official Girls Road Trip tomorrow.  I was going to go with a friend to visit her daughter in DC, but a snow storm is on its way and will drop up to 24 inches of snow.  We decided not to go.  It would have been fun, as my friend and I don't have much time to hang out.  Oh well, there will be another time. 

I wish I could be funny.  I've been reading Sassy's blog.  She is funny. Most people that are fun don't need to force it. It just comes natural.  I can write naughty poetry...just ask my husband.  When we were bi-coastal dating, I would sent him very steamy poems. When he deployed to the Middle East four months after we got married, I sent him naught poems too.  He had to make sure no one was in the office when he would read them or just pull his chair in so his lap was not in view.  I guess he liked them.  

My goal is to just keep writing.  About what?  I'm not sure.  My day...my thoughts...my dreams...one blog at a time.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll find my inner funny!