For my hair, Liquid Keratin is a good conditioner. It really didn't make my hair easier to blow out, but it has more shine. I am hoping my curls are smoother when I wear it curly.

CURLY or STRAIGHT?

The picture of me on the dock on my blog page has my hair in it's natural state of curly. I heard about this new product Liquid Keratin that smoothes out your hair. I ordered it and it arrived today. The process was easy; I did it tonight after work. I can't wash my hair for two days and after that I wash it with their special shampoo.  My hair should be smoother and easier to wear straight. The results should last for 30 days. 


My hair tends to be frizzy naturally. A few years before I met my husband, I had a coffee date with a man I met on Match.com. I was not interested in seeing him again, but I did the "call me" when he asked if he could see me again. Anyway, I never did see him again, but he kept calling me. Once he left me a message, "where's that big haired woman?" When I was a kid, I used those big hair rollers to straighten it out and I was so so happy with my blow dryer christmas gift when I was 15 years old. 


When I first started dating my husband, I usually wore it straight when I saw him. After moving to Virginia, with the hot humid summers, I began wearing it curly. It's easier and it doesn't matter if it's humid or rainy. 


I'll know in a few days how the process worked and will report the outcome.

As I type this, I've a moist heating pad on my left shoulder. I have a torn rotator cuff. I had one on my right shoulder in 2007. I got that one while changing my t-shirt while keeping my seat belt on. I wasn't driving and was not exposed in the process. Anyway, that time, I heard a pop and didn't go to the doctor until months later. I had an xray, and MRI, a cortisone shot and 12 weeks of PT and all was well. The last time that I saw my right shoulder doctor, he said, "it'll happen to your left shoulder too." Why would he say that, and why didn't he tell how to not have it happen to my left shoulder?

Last summer my left upper arm started to hurt the way my right did.  It's referred pain from the shoulder. I tried to work it out, but it got worse and I finally went to the doctor, same group, but a different doctor. I like this new doctor; so far, I've had an xray, and MRI, 12 weeks PT and 2 cortisone shots; one from the back and one from the front. After 12 weeks of PT, I decided that I can do the exercises myself.  I do work it out daily, but it's just not getting back to normal. It's painful when I reach past the hurting point. If I don't push it though, I could develop a frozen shoulder like what happened to the other shoulder before I finally went to the doctor.

My massage therapist had surgery for her shoulder, but I'm really scared of that, but I'm so tired of the pain in doing simple things like putting on a coat or reaching to push the buttons to start the drive-through car wash.  Even putting my hand in my back pocket or scratching my back causes pain. I'm tired of complaining about it too.

I know I don't have many followers, but have any of you had the surgery? What was it like? Would you recommend it?

Me?  Menopause?  Yep.  Me...Menopause.

I'm convinced that my menopause is affecting everything I do, think and say. Menopause was the reason I didn't blog this weekend...DARN you Menopause!

Since it affects just about every aspect of my life, I'm good at using it as an excuse for most stuff.

I'm over-sensitive and hypercritical...oh, yeah, more argumentative, which works out really good <sarcasm> when my husband is himself over-sensitive.  It made for a really fun <sarcasm again> weekend.  Sorry Honey!

My digestion or lack of is Menopause's fault.  I can't even savor a yummy dinner of ribs anymore. My husband and I went for ribs last night. I had a half order and didn't even finish them. About an hour after we got home I felt pretty sick. Not the food poisoning type of sick, but the over did it indigestion type of sick. My stomach is still recovering now, almost 24 hours later.  As I sit here typing it is rumbling and bubbling.  Oh well, with time I will be better and I will stay away from ribs....for a while.

My motivation to run seems affected too.  I went for a run outside rather than the treadmill yesterday. It was a beautiful day here. I was okay until my ipod ran out of juice at about the mile mark. Without my music, I started thinking too much, then I get too winded, my side hurt, hot flashes, too much thinking and no rhythm to my run. I only ran about 2 miles.

Menopause, my convenient scape goat.

Today...I blogged...but did not run.

I've been thinking about getting older lately. I'm on the other side of 50 now and that's really weird to me. I don't feel it and most times I don't feel it, other than the fact that I'm in menopause. Fifty sounds so old, but I'm not any different than I was 10 years or 20 years ago. I haven't changed the way I dress or act to anything more conservative.  Although, I don't like non-stretchy clothing. I'm thin, but like comfort. 

Anyway...thinking of my youth brings me to this photo taken at a girlfriend's bridal shower in the late seventies. I only recently saw this picture. One of my high school friend tagged me in Facebook with it a few months back. It brought back a memory from the packed away part of my brain. Not that I purposely packed memories away, it just happens. The more I looked at the picture, the more the fog dissipated and I remembered.

...then I remembered those glasses. I bought them across the street from Marenello's School of Beauty where I was training to be a hair dresser in 1976. There was an optician office across the street and I sort of had a crush on the optician, so I had to buy some glasses and then I had to continue to go in to have them adjusted...again and again...  They had a rhinestone flower in the lower corner of the left lens too. Hey, don't laugh, they were very stylish back then.  Notice the Dorothy Hamill haircut? I was my brother's model for a haircutting class. He was a hairdresser at a very high end salon in California's San Fernando Valley; Jon Peters Salon. Said owner of said salon is now a movie director and the name changed to Alan Edwards.  Anyway...this was me at 18....with  my 70's amber glasses with the little rhinestone flower and my Dorothy Hamill haircut.  One thing I don't remember is that blouse. What was I thinking???

Tonight was my guitar lesson.  I've been playing guitar since I was 14, so that means that I've been playing for about 38 years.  I play alright though. I've learned songs through the years that I enjoy singing.  Sometimes I put the guitar down and didn't pick it up for a year or two.  Then I'd cut my nails and play again. If the song had bar chords in it, I'd make an attempt at learning it and then move on. I enjoyed learning and playing a few of Jewel's songs.  "You were meant for me," "Little Sister," "Don't," among others.  I put up a wall, though, and was good at keeping out any songs with those dreaded bar chords.

My first guitar was a classical nylon stringed guitar with a 3 inch wide fret.  My first bar chord attempts were on that monster and I failed hopelessly. In my thirties I bought myself a divorce present; a new guitar. It wasn't expensive, about $150, but the fret was only 2 inches wide, which made it perfect for bar chords, but my wall was up and refused to come down. In my 40s, I was given a new expensive guitar. I had the fret adjusted after being told that the strings were too far from the fret, causing bar chords to be difficult.  Ah, so that was my problem!!! That was about 8 years ago. Did I master those bar chords?  No, I continued to shy away from them.

In January, I started lessons again. My teacher calls himself my coach. I'm starting now to do bar chords. I'm not comfortable with them yet, but they're coming along.

I'm jealous of my husband, though. He's a natural. I gave him Guitar lessons for Christmas. He's only been playing since January and he's already plucking away by ear. This is bothering me...not that he's getting so good, but that at the rate he's going, he'll surpass me in ability.  I'm proud of him though and it will only make me work harder to break through my wall and defeat those bar chords.  Tonight, he's discovering Angie.

I love the view from the dock during a sunset....

 

the water is calm...

I hear the distant voices of the geese...

I toss the bread crumbs

the geese come closer

a little turtle swims closer...its little head pops up looking for the bread

so peaceful sitting on the dock...

Just some tidbits from my mind...
I've completed the first 4 ifit treadmill workouts.

I just got a new haircut today...I like it...a little bang and I had her blow it out.

 

My husband has 'stolen' my guitar...I must get it back...guess he needs a better guitar than my old one...

Time to play...

Valentine's Day is highly overrated.  My friend is sad because his girlfriend of 3 years needs a break and he's alone on Valentine's Day. I missed his call and his message on my voicemail was tear-filled. I immediately called him back to find he was okay...he cried it out and seemed better. Tears are good therapy, in my opinion. I use that therapy when needed. I don't know what will become of his relationship. Only time will tell.  Now he has a headache. Could it dehydration from the tears maybe? Good therapy:  a good cry with a tall glass of water and a good friend's ear.

Valentine's Day is a day that retail stores push the public to spend money on their mates.  Whether it's candy, jewelry, sexy underwear or whatever they want to sell, they can spin it to be a must buy for your mate Valentine's Day gift. We start this craziness in Elementary School. Starting in kindergarden we pass out our valentine cards to all of our classmates. In Junior High (or middle school as it's now called), we had valentine grams and oh the feeling you got when you didn't get many, or any valentine cards.

What I can't believe is the push today to spend money on Valentine's Day.  Are we not in a recession?  Are there not many people out of work? It's ridiculous the guilt trip that is put on people on this, the day of love.

So, I'm a little bitter.

I have made a couple of goals...fitness goals.  One is to run the Shamrock 8K on March 20 of this year and the other is to get my shoulder back to 100%.  My steps to obtain these goal will be running on the treadmill 4-5 times a week.  I'm using ifit.  I'm on the 3rd workout. It kick my ass every time and I was running outside 3-4 miles before the cold set in. The ifit sets the speed and incline. She had me at 5.9 mph with an 6.0 incline.  It was only for a minute at a time, but that was really enough. I know that I will get stronger with each workout. If I'm home when it's light and warmer (50 is nice), I'll get outside for a run.

I took 2 rounds of physical therapy and 2 cortisone shots for my shoulder and the next step is surgery...that I do not want. I am going to do my exercises if not daily, then every other day. Today, it actually feels better, so I know my plan of attack will work to keep me from surgery.

These are not New Year's resolutions, just two things that I have to do....

I can't believe what I just read on my NY cousin's FaceBook!!  I'm mad and sad that she posted it and that one of her comments was from a friend of mine. My friend said she laughed at the punch line that basically wished death on someone. It was my cousin's post and it was a political post of course. This time it wasn't about the tea party or her love of Sarah...or Newt, it was a prayer to God about all of her favorite people passing away recently. Now, she's not an Obama fan, so the punch line was telling God that Obama was one of her favorite people...wanting God to take him too!  It really saddens me that so many people wish him harm. It is shameful.  

Ok...just blog...

I'm wearing my hippie shirt today, I love casual Fridays at work.
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today, comfort at it's best.
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today, I wore tie dye in the 70s too
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today, my husbands Christmas gift
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today with jeans that fit me great
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today.  It's patch-worked and colorful
I'm wearing my hippie shirt today. I rock!

More snow today. It looked like a blizzard outside my office. It was blowing sideways. It was cool. It didn't last that long and by the time I left work at 5pm, it was mostly melted.

I didn't get to my iFit workout.  I didn't sleep well last night.  At 3am I took a Sleep M.D....then I slept. After work I had a massage, so I'm spent.  I don't think I'll blog much tonight.

So, I was thinking about the latest Toyota recalls. Back in 1988 or 1989, my ex and I owned a rust colored 1980 (give or take a year) VW Vanagon. It was air cooled and we had to constantly put oil in it when it started clanking. One day, I was driving on the Ventura Fwy in the San Fernando Valley with my two young sons. We were in the fast lane going about 65 mph. All of a sudden the gas peddle dropped from my foot to the floor increasing my speed at an alarming rate. I was scared, but I kept my cool. All that I could think to do was to reach my left foot under the peddle to pull it up to slow my speed. Then I was able to reach down with my hand and located the rod that rests up against the back of the foot peddle and set it back in place. I did this while keeping my eyes on the road. I wonder if VW ever had a recall on that vehicle. We were very lucky, but I really didn't think too much about it..until these recent recalls and publicized deaths caused by the Toyota gas peddle problem.

Maybe the Toyota gas peddle can't be pulled up once it drops to the floor. It makes me wonder if anyone tried that.

Time for sleep...think I'll take a sleep aid...maybe a Tylenol PM...

I am fatherless. My father left my mom, brothers and I when I was two years old.  I could count the times that I saw him.  I only stayed with him for the weekend once when I was 12.  It was only a couple months before he died of cancer. They found cancer throughout his body when they did exploratory surgery, so just closed him up and he never woke up. I was 12 and lost a dad that had just began to be a father and not just an acquaintance. 

What is is like to have a father? One time when I was around 10 years old, a couple of girlfriends and I went to another friend's house. We walked into her house and what I saw was a little girl alone with a strange man. The thoughts were fear for my friend being alone with this man. It was her father and I was so unaware of what that was about.

I can't miss what I didn't have, but I as I get older, I do. I see dads on TV and wonder what it feels like to have a dad. I watch shows like Castle and wished I had a dad like that. They have such a great relationship.

My dad was an alcoholic when we was married to my mom. I remember he came back once when I was around 7 or 8 years old. He stayed the weekend and when my mom refused to refinance the house to give him money, he left. My mom shared that with me years and years later.  She was always good about not saying negative things about him. She always told me to call him.  I remember the few times we went to pick up the child support check ($25 for each child) at his upholstery shop that he owned. I remember the tacks in my shoes and the fabric covered buttons I made with the button maker.  Sadly, I only remember only four times being with my dad without my mom there.  I was really young in my first memory. I was standing on his shoes...step touch...step touch. He was teaching me to dance. I remember the lady that was with him.  She wore a full 50's style skirt. That skirt ended up being his second wife. Another time I was in my dad's truck...my brother was there too.  We were driving and there was a Santa waving at us from the street corner. It was Christmas time.  He once took us to see a movie at the Reseda drive-in. We saw King of Kings...and finally, there was the first time I'd stayed the weekend with him.  He was married to his 4th wife, Norma. She had two daughters. It was a nice weekend. It was a turning point in our relationship...but then he died.

Maybe I need to create my own father...create him as I want him...maybe he'll be like Castle....

Well, iFit really does kick your butt as I've read in many blogs. And I was concerned that I downloaded too easy of an iFit.  This iFit took me up to 5.6 mph and up to 6.0 of an incline.  Luckily, though, I wasn't at 6.0 incline running 5.6 mph! Here's my cool new Treadmill....and Shelly. 

I'm hoping this 8 week iFit will help me get to my 8K goal.  I am 52...I am 34 in my mind...that is a good thing.

Yesterday, we acquired a new addition to our household.  A treadmill.  I've wanted one for a while, but would vacillate back and forth, convincing myself over and over again that I can just go to the gym and run or that I can withstand running in 26 degrees. I am a fairly new consistent runner now, but, actually, I jog. I still consider myself a runner, though.

So, we bought a Nordic Track 1/2 price with all the bells and whistles.  It even has the iFit card slot.  Now I need to decide whether I get the Jillian Michaels' iFit card and get my butt kicked or buy a less butt kicking card. I'm planning on venturing out today to buy one. We had about an inch of snow yesterday, but the roads should be fine. It was so cool being able to run inside while the snow was falling.  What a hassle it was getting it in the door though.  My husband and our next door neighbor brought it in, but what a struggle. It looks a lot bigger in a 10x10 room.

My goal is to be ready for the Shamrock 8K on March 20.  I have 6 weeks, so I'll be fine.  I ran 5K yesterday on the treadmill.  I'm hoping to still find nice weekend days that I can run outside though.

The really good thing about running is that right now I'm wearing a workout set that was a little snug when I bought it in 2001. It's loose and really comfy and to think I almost Goodwilled it!  I guess you say that I'm skinny again.  I'm not really eating any differently, but I usually eat healthy and not too many desserts.  I attribute the weight loss to running.  Right now though, I need lunch.  My tummy is growling.

ok...treadmill is in our spare room.  Now there is no more excuses.  I will run in the Shamrock 8K!!!

So, why do I get so excited about buying something?  I think it stems back to a time when I lived paycheck to paycheck and could not buy much for myself. A time when I was a single parent of two boys and only getting $488 a month child support. Each month I'd have to call the bank to see if there were enough funds to cash it. I started this after having bounced checks because his check that I'd deposited bounced. I learn quick. There's a phone number to call to check your balance. You use your SSN...well his SSN.  I only did it to check funds though. Anyway, that's the reason for my excitement in buying something for myself.  When we bought my MAC Book, I was so excited too.  So, today we are going to look at Treadmills.  I started running last June and during the Winter, I find it very hard to get my run in. I've not run in over a week now.  It's raining...it's cold...it's dark...are my excuses. We have access to a gym, but that's a hassle too.  If we had a treadmill, I'd be able to run whenever I want.  Hey, yet another thing to track here!!

So, maybe I have a little ADHD since I float from one thing to another never quite sticking to one thing.  Is that why I multitask so well?  I have two screens at my work and sometimes I'll have a database query running in one, while working on a C# application in the other. Yes...I'm a computer programmer.  There are things that I have stuck to in my life though.  I've played guitar since I was 14...although I've have been known to put it down for a year at a time.  I'm currently in a playing stage and even have a guitar coach, as he calls himself.  I'm taking lessons from a local celebrity, Lewis McGehee.  My husband is a newbe player and will start with Lewis next month after he finishes his Christmas gift of lessons at a local music store.

So...time to go and buy that treadmill....

Today was long.  I don't like not being busy at work. The quiet before the storm? It usually happens that way. All at once I'll have five projects at once. I'm good at multitasking though.

An actual storm is coming here though.  Last weekend we had a rare 18 inches of snow. My first really snow storm since moving here in 2007. I really enjoyed it, but would have enjoyed it more if I didn't have a migraine. I was so stubborn in that I would not take any pain relievers.  I was in the process of doing a Gallbladder Cleanse (too much info...I know...but isn't that was blogs are for??) and didn't think medicine would be good during a fast. As the migraine set in at full force, I googled the cleanse on my Blackberry hoping for an out. I'd googled it before, but this time a site I'd not seen before came up. It was a site that exposes quacky stuff and they were claiming that the Gallbladder Cleanse was a crock of shit...pun intended if you know what I mean. What they wrote made a lot of sense, and that was my cue to end the fast after already drinking 3 doses of an epson salts and water. I had some apple and peanut butter and migraine pain reliever. I put an ice pack on my forehead and went to bed.  Ok...so what does my migraine have to do with the snow?  It's not much fun playing in the snow with a migraine, so this time I can enjoy it more.

It's been a while since I posted, but no one is reading anyway.  I have no followers.  Maybe someday.  So, to pick up from where I left off...I'm still taking Amberan and since my last writing, which was day two and zero hot flashes, the hot flashes did come back.  They started to decrease and I'm happy to say that I did not run my fan at my desk at all today.  I'd been running it at least 3-4 times a day to cool me off from hot flashes.  I am sleeping better and I my mood is better.  So, I've decided not to return the other two packages.  I'll take them for the complete 90 days.  

I was going to go on an official Girls Road Trip tomorrow.  I was going to go with a friend to visit her daughter in DC, but a snow storm is on its way and will drop up to 24 inches of snow.  We decided not to go.  It would have been fun, as my friend and I don't have much time to hang out.  Oh well, there will be another time. 

I wish I could be funny.  I've been reading Sassy's blog.  She is funny. Most people that are fun don't need to force it. It just comes natural.  I can write naughty poetry...just ask my husband.  When we were bi-coastal dating, I would sent him very steamy poems. When he deployed to the Middle East four months after we got married, I sent him naught poems too.  He had to make sure no one was in the office when he would read them or just pull his chair in so his lap was not in view.  I guess he liked them.  

My goal is to just keep writing.  About what?  I'm not sure.  My day...my thoughts...my dreams...one blog at a time.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll find my inner funny!