Sunday, January 24, 2010

January 24, 2010
I ran yesterday...4 miles...intervals...warm up 5 minutes of fast walk and 4 one minute walks in between 4 9 minute runs....a total of 4.2 miles.  It really is so much better running outside than at the gym on a treadmill. 

Amberen is still keeping my mood level, but the hot flashes are still around.  I called the 800 number and it was suggested that I take double the dosage.  I'm not ready to do that though. 

It's amazing how the body changes as we grow older.  I had 2 glasses of red wine last night.  Today I awoke with a headache and now just feel blah and dizzy.  The dizzy may just be the 2 Tylenol Migraine that I took.

Starting now, I'm going to also journal on other aspects of my life.  Marriage, running, art, music....whatever I feel at the time of my writing.

My husband has a mood disorder.  I'm not sure what it is...or if there is really even a name for it. It may be BP (2 not 1 as it is not severe) may just be his ADD...or just plain old passive aggressive behaviors.  Whatever it is, since Thursday, January 21, he's been in one of his moods.  He's regular self did appear a couple of dinner out for sushi....then last night when after my 2 glasses of wine gave way for the lifting of my inhibitions that allowed me, during a mood caused discussion, to strip naked...thereby causing his frown to reverse well as his mood.  After though...mood reversed back and this morning, it's still with him.  We've had breakfast and now he's back in bed. His way of dealing with his moods is to sleep.

Time to shower...maybe do some art today...

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

January 19, 2010
Well, I had a bunch of hot flashes today, but my concentration was good as well as my energy level.  I just found out that my mom-in-law took Amberen a few years back and thought it worked really well.  It makes me feel better actually knowing someone that has taken it.  A holistic doctor told her about it.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

January 16, 2010
I slept really well last night without any hot flashes. 
January 15, 2010
Actually it's the 16th already.  It's 1:15am and I just finished watching my brother perform via a Live Webcast.  He's in CA and I'm on the other coast now.

Anyway...Amberen is working again today.  I had a couple of hot flashes last night and a couple today.  My mood is good and my concentration was very good.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

January 14, 2009
I had 4 hot flashes today at work and one last night.  I'm not feeling good right now, but I don't think it's Amberen. 

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

January 13, 2010
Day 3 on Amberen.  No hot flashes all day again!  I normally will hot flash when in a stressful situation and today there was one such situation and no hot flash!  I did have one of my headaches, but I didn't have lunch and it left me after Excedrin Migraine and and ice pack on my head.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

January 12, 2010
Day 2 on Amberen was hot flash free.  Day two!!?? Could it be psychosomatic?  Maybe, but I'll see how tonight goes when my unconscious mind takes over.  More on that tomorrow.  I did have more energy, but I'm also not working on 5 different projects like I was last week.  I'm sure the stress of last week didn't help my menopause symptoms.

Monday, January 11, 2010

January 11, 2010
My Amberen shipments came around 2pm.  I decided to start them right away.  It's 9:15 and I'm feeling very relaxed.  They say it will take a week before I feel any difference.  More on this tomorrow.
January 11, 2010
Hopefully the Amberen shipment will arrive today.  I'm anxious to start it.  I'm feeling better, though I know that hormones fluctuate.  I forgot to write about my experience on Saturday at Target.  I was very early cashing in my 1/2 spa hoping for a sauna or steam.  They didn't have either...only a pool and co-ed hot tub. I went to Target to possibly buy a bathing suit since I do need a one piece.  I tried on 3 and decided that I wasn't going to buy one.  I gave the girl the '3' card, put the suits back on the rack and proceeded to meander around killing time. I ended up at the Wii games. Just so you get the picture...I was very low mentally, emotionally and physically.  My husband and I had an argument the night before and I didn't sleep but 3 hours. I was in my long brown coat with  my hair in a ponytail. A female security guard came up to me and asked if I needed help. I said no and that I was just killing some I was early for a spa appointment. That was weird. Did the fitting room girl call security because I racked the suits myself? Did I look despondent? Troubled? I left Target and went to Barnes & Noble where meandering is encouraged.  My husband and I did make up.  Marriage is a process...and we are processing.  Speaking of marriage...we ordered 28 Days to Ecstasy for Couples: Tantra Step by Step.  We've both have been interested in Tantra...but have yet to try it.

Time to get to work.  I work from home on Mondays...such a nice way to start the week.  I can stay in my pajamas...I can go running at lunch...I can work without interruption.  

Sunday, January 10, 2010

A new year...2010. I choose to be happy. I can choose to allow happiness...not based on what other people are doing. I have joined the online community of Agape with Michael Beckwith. Today's sermon hit the mark. I can choose to be happy regardless of anything that is going on around me. I joined this online community because there are no RS Churches near my home and decided to get online with my spiritual practice. I am not fanatical...never have been and never will be, but I have forgotten the teaching and need to remember to remember.

Another new year endeavor...menopause and it has begun to hit hard.  I'm in my 3th extended non-cycle of over six months.  My symptoms have accelerated though and last night I awoke with my nightgown so wet from sweat that I had to change.  This last week, my mood was off.  I have ordered Amberen on Friday after reading many posts from many different websites.  The negatives that I read were minimal. One being from a woman that only tried it for 2 weeks and gave up...said it wasn't working. The other was from a woman that claimed to be an MD and said not to jump at every 'Natural' remedy out there.  Seems to me that she would push HRTs.  Anyway...the shipment will be arriving soon and I plan on blogging my progress here.  Who knows...maybe I'll get a reader or two.  It could happen.

I have put many pots in the fire...those are only two of my current endeavors for 2010.  I've also started guitar lessons.  I've played since I was 14, but still as new as can be.  Then there's drawing. A gift I'd asked for is Drawing on the Right (or is it left) side of the brain. 

My 2010 goals....
1. Grow spiritually and regain my positive attitude that I had worked for and somehow let slip away.  Be happy in all situations.
2. Get my menopause symptoms under control
3. Get good enough to comfortably play bar cords on the guitar and sing and play at open mic.
4. Finish the drawing book and draw from a picture of Michael and Pam...Christmas 2010 present maybe?

So...there it first blog...